How to Have Difficult Conversations with Kids!
This NBC news article gives parents and caregivers information on how to take action to help both protect the younger generation and how, as a parent, to feel grounded. It is important to not just have simple conversations with our youth; it is more important to be honest, take action, and always continue to have these difficult conversations. I always like to say that children and teens learn by having multiple, spaced out conversations rather than one big, long lecture. When you read this article think about the younger generation and how to apply these techniques. I have given more perspective on this article below and I hope each reader gain more insight as well.
Our society currently continues to experience heartache and which more recently involve the safety of our children who we want to do nothing more than protect and love. With all of the school shootings at the beginning of 2018, the conversations about gun control and violence are directly affecting the younger generation. Being a professional who works with children and teens experiencing anxiety and depression, processing the realities of our world can feel sticky and confusing. We want our kids to feel safe and at the same time know the realities of the world we live in. Within the last few weeks, I have done my own processing and have found this article above to be both informative for parents as well as realistic about how to engage children when these difficult conversations occur.
One section of this article that I find so important is for each adult who interacts with the younger generation, (teacher, parent, therapist…), needs to have his or her own outlet and support system. We are their role models and feeling grounded in how we share our emotions is highly important. Processing and venting about our own fears and frustrations with another adult allows us to be present with children, which allows their voice be heard and listened to. This permits each adult to be truly empathetic and provide a safe place for the child’s emotions to be validated.
The bigger reality is that we cannot make these empty promises to children when we do not have control over it. Our job is to not increase their anxiety, but tell them the truth. We want to provide protection, yet we cannot be with them each hour of the day. The balance of our reality is highly important and helping children focus on what they can control and continue to advocate.
To balance all of these realities, here are three positive tips for parents to do when having these discussions.
- Provide space to have their voice heard. Allow them to share all of their thoughts and emotions. Do not be afraid to start these conversations because most children are already trying to process these difficult concepts.
- Validate their emotions. This can be accomplished by simply repeating back what they say because it confirms that they were understood- with love and empathy.
- Point out the facts and the positive experiences they have each day. This helps them hold all realities. You do not want to change it to positive until you have genuinely discussed the hard emotions.
Overall, know you are not alone. Most parents or professionals are working their best to help each child feel safe and develop in to their best self. Make sure your needs as a parent are being met and always ask for help. Each day their generation continues to amaze me with their drive to make a difference. It is our job to foster this incredible development and continue to listen with our hearts and minds to each emotion and words for change.
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